Been a long time comin'.

I am truly inspired by Matisyahu's "King Without A Crown." It is quite moving, powerful, and motivating. Alas, it is but a song. Why can't this song of moving be my life? I so want to move in a fashionable original way. Where am I going? What do I want? What do I strive for? Why do I fight?

I've been mulling through these notions quite a lot lately. Drugs, things, money, pursuits, friends, independency... Yeah. We can only feel our own pain though.

I am stagnant. A thing, I've loathed my entire existence. Why? I guess it's a good thing that I am able to recognize it...for that allows me to slay it. But, when I slay it...what then? From hither to thither?

Yah, I am real damn clear. I want to make a come back. Return of the Mack? Maybe. I will still uphold the dictates of my soul: abstractness, longing, solitude, strivance, fruition and drop offs. I am toying with the idea of turning professional poet. I admit that I don't keep up with modern poetry, but I feel confident with my flow. I've had feed back from people I love, trust and admire and they gave good soundings. This is something that I will be pursuing now.

I wanted to climb Mt Kilimanjaro (really I secretly wanted to die after making the summit, sick selfish crap I dealt with), but money, friends and stuff decided otherwise. It is still an agenda of mine (sans the dying), but for the future. I'm going to try and get a student loan so's I can get me a real degree. I need school. I need academia. I am a perpetual student. If that don't work, I will get's me a job. Something in academia or thievery. Ha. So, it stands...school or job.

I need a damn daily life. Ugg. This kite on a string shit sucks. Wafting about with no purpose...not even my own. Times are a changin'.

This diary/journal: To you and all my friends that have stayed the course--thank you. I'm back. I'll be paying more attention and updating more. I need more interaction.

Well, this has been real abstract. I like it. It reads like I read. Yeah...